It's been awhile..let's catch up

Sorry it's been so long since I have written. Life has been happening!

I took a look back at some of my posts, as well as my blog description, and am a bit concerned here. I'm not nearly as negative as my writing may come off. In fact, I think most of my co-workers would be surprised if they saw how much of a negative attitude I was taking with all the changes in our newsroom and within the company.

It's amazing though...at work I function and handle stress so differently than I do in "real life." Stress hardly wears me down, and I am very much the type of person that an editor can throw a story to last minute and never expect to hear a complaint much less an "I can't do this." Everything is taken in stride, and to break me down takes a hell of a lot of bullshit.

Now the second I hit the door, all of the stress piles down on me-pushing my shoulders forward in a permanent hunch and my head into a knotted up mess of thoughts. I'm tired, too worn down to do much more than cook, clean and get a run in here and there and money is constantly on my mind.

I hate how poorly journalists get paid, but I honestly would never leave this profession just because of the poor chunk of change. I honest to god, whole-heartedly, love my life as a reporter.

Anyways...let's get to the point of this blog.

Thanksgiving is around the corner, and undoubtedly the thoughts of thankfulness and reflection back on the year have been a stir in my head. It has been a rough year, but I refuse to allow myself to look back and take note of what went wrong more than what went right.

I lost 20 pounds this year (hell ya!), one of my best friends in the whole world got married (Evrod I love you to pieces) and I feel for the first time in some years that I have solid group of friends who all surround themselves with me for no other reason than to love my company as much as I love there's. My boyfriend and I have continued to stand closely by each other and we are ever so much in love.

Ironically, Evan (the boyfriend) was laid off last week. This is ironic because we always thought I was the one who would be laid off, not his solid marketing gig. But we have been through similar situations before, and frankly I am glad to have him home. Is that bad to say?

I can't help but wonder though where I will be around this time next year. Thanksgiving and Christmas is always my favorite time around the office. The tax and levy stories are done, and the light heartened stories are coming in. Deadlines ease back somewhat and the editors seem to pull off their masks of hate for just a few days.

But this year I have feeling it is going to be a sad reminder of how many didn't make it through the ax of cuts...particularly my most favorite boss in the whole world Jim Pokin. He ran our newsroom like a family- you were yelled at when you fucked up and you were occasionally praised for good work. However, it was never his praise any of us sought. It was knowing we had made an impression on him, which was made obvious in the most subtle of ways. He was no a bullshit type of guy and I have nothing but the utmost respect for him.

He gave me the best advice too. He told me to stay at the paper now to learn most of what I need to learn, then throw myself out there to find what's next. I think next year it is going to be time to throw myself out there, let's just hope the wind leads me to the right seat.

Miss you Pokin....